pill_boxes

I havent felt this way about a guy in forever....too bad he goes to school in Baltimore and me in Florida.....I've had a crush on this guy since we met last summer....saw him for the first time tonight since winter break and it was lovely....it was nice to hang out with a guy with no expectations of a hook up although we have before and wouldve had we a place to go haha but thats besides the point....I really enjoy his company.....Maybe I'm reading too far into this and Im just seeking some attention and affection on a less shallow level then my hook ups. Also I need to stop leading guys on...I have a problem saying no.

I want cut back on smoking like I really do. I've only had one or two every day or two since I'm at home now and cant really smoke. I just need to exercise the same self control when i go back to Florida, although I'll probably cave.

Sometimes I have to stop and wonder how I got to the point I'm at right now.
What am I doing with my life, seriously.
Sometimes I feel like Im happy but sometimes I feel like Im fooling myself into thinkign Im happy. I feel like I'm looking for something but I can't seem to figure out what it is Im searching for or how to obtain it no matter what I do.

I dont know if anyone reads this anymore but if anyone does maybe they can find some appreciation, as I did, in the fact that the hott 93.7(hip hop station) morning dj is this woman:


Ok Im done.

My mom is a physco.
My therapist isnt gonna recomend my charges dropped unless I change, but Im just not comfortable talking to him.
This is not the life I want.
I need my hair done.
I need spring clothes.
I dont have the money for any of it.
I need new priorities.
I need to stop being a whiny little bitch.

Friends only.
Duh.